Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

I came out of my morning class. 
open the cafeteria door I went inside the massive room, saw many Christian peoples sat in their seats around a circular table
played drawing and guessing game, I pulled up a chair and join in. 
I had trouble with understanding the direction 
of the game, you were behind me, I didn’t turn around had a hard time and begun to space out 
didn’t know what I was doing, you walked up to me and pulled up a chair sat next to me. 
You had helped me out when I had troubled to understand the direction of the game when 
you tried to find the pencil, you had touched 
the back of my left hand, I spin myself around in my 
chair. 
You had this wonderful smile while saw me in your eyes I saw you wearing a red long shirt with blue jean, zebra colored shoe after the game ended we had time to got to know each other, by talking about everything including what 
things we had in common with one another. But you didn’t know about my birth condition, we let it flow, gradually we started our friendship. 
We walked out together to met my female guardian I wanted her to felt comfortable I’m with you, but while we went to the quiet calm state park with another friend of yours, she had anxious thoughts in her mind, your friend took 
us in his car. 
Back to my house both of you stay for a while 
we talked for a bit and when you and him before left my house. He showed a video of himself to me and her, on the next day we talked about everything with each other before 
Halloween occurs, you told me what you felt about me, and it’s given me your love within me 
and let you fell in love with me, started to ask 
me out for the first date. 
Our day with each other being alone 
it was romantic and beautiful, we went 
to this sushi restaurant in Factoria afterward, 
we sat down on the bench inside the Factorial Mall watched a movie. 
You took me back home back into separate lives and Saturday afternoon I was had my time 
to relax by taking a comfortable shower, but your notification pop up in between I had responded to your text, I felt like want to have my 
time to myself. 
It’s got under my skin given me an uncomfortable feeling 
can you wait I’m done showering? 
We talked about being in a romantic relationship 
with each other, what we called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, since then you 
open up everything to me about your old 
painful experience.
It’s made me felt bad for you 
made me wanted to love you 
given you my heart and comfort,
we went on many dates with each other 
and spent time, with different peoples 
even got to double-date with both married couples. 
We had fun and went many places 
I enjoyed every place, we went to 
the next year of 2020, we were still 
with each other being in a relationship. 
Everything went downhill. 
Our fallout hit me very hard like a wrecking ball 
I started to lost 21 pounds due to our breakup 
you didn’t open up everything to me, that you had promised me we work out with each other, and we never did, I never got any sleep and had been awake in the middle of the night in the morning. 
I had eaten less food you never know how hurt 
I am every time always had anxious thoughts 
swim inside my head, can’t help it by thinking 
that it yet happen, once you open up everything to me about yourself and I still can memorize it. 
But all I can do was thinking every memory of ours, haunt me day and night I got the painful sleepless night. 
Whatever I listen to my favorite songs, and it’s 
reminder me of our relationship, you think it is easy to let go and move on not to think of you I think it is hard you share everything with me and open up everything about you, our memories are not that easy to get rid of. 
It makes me feel like you never understand 
many older women with the same birth condition as me, want love from a person and keep it forever you once loved me and now look at yourself I don’t know you anymore, your love for me has faded, and it’s still hurt me even more. 
I know you had made many mistakes and I can understand, I had made many mistakes we’re not a perfect person at least, we learn from each other to be better people. 
Wish you finally turn your love used to be 
and get back to each other again, then never 
happen to know how much I had hurt you mentally, you won’t be the same person you used to be anymore. 
All of my fault it wasn’t for my mistakes and let you knew about my birth condition early and wished I told you to focus on your education, then we won’t be in this mess up a broken relationship if you balance everything well, and 
we could be with each other in a romantic relationship.