Category : Blogs

Sub Category : LifeStyle

Over the past few months I've struggled to maintain a stable mentality. I was fighting a useless fight. Against myself. I couldn't control my emotions, and I didn't think I would ever be able to. Well I did it. Partially. I've accepted my feelings, and I've been able to sustain them properly. I'm no longer trying to push back the not-so-nice aspects of my personality, because the longer I kept that up, the less it worked, and the more it affected my day-to-day life in the MOST negative way possible. I was almost always in a bad mood, and I never really knew why. When I was mad, or upset, I blamed other people. And I hurt other people. When I was in pain, I pushed everyone away, in an attempt to prevent them from getting hurt. It never worked. After driving them  away from me, I would get angry if they stayed away. I would get angry if they didn't try to force their way back in to help me, or to comfort me. And then I'd lash out. And I hurt a lot of people that I cared about while doing so. Now though, I've embraced it all. I know now that I don't have anything that I need to hide. If I'm angry, I'll acknowledge that. I'll think about why I feel that way, and I'll let it go. It might take a bit of time, some things more than others, but I'll get through it. If I'm sad, I'll do something to make myself feel better. And sometimes that something is nothing. Sometimes there isn't anything to be done. Some issues require more time before they eventually resolve themselves. And that's okay. It's normal. I've been trying my hardest not to blame other people for the way I feel. No one is at fault for the problems that I face. And no one is responsible for keeping me in good spirits after I face them. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and I've finally begun to accept that.